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Skirmish
was the final one-off Starlord story. Replacing Strontium
Dog in issue 20, it reunited the Snatch team of Alan Hebden and Jesus Pena.
In
the year 3540, humanity is engaged in a long and bitter war
with the Irlian Star Raiders, a race of insectoid beings. The
war is being televised across human civilisation, showing the
struggle of the fearless Space Marines against this aggressive
alien menace. A family watching one such broadcast, fear
for their son Joe, even now fighting in the eighth quadrant on
the planet Centaur 6.
Unknown
to all on Earth, life as a Space Marine isn't all bad, as Joe
and his men relax by a swimming pool surrounded by beautiful
women. Joe is warned that a load of green recruits are
arriving and the General wants them broken in quickly. Joe
agrees, saying it's better that they don't think they've come
all this way to actually fight a war.
Soon
Joe is giving his men a pep-talk as they prepare to go into
battle for the first time on the little known planet of Cloris
5. Although the action looks deadly, the explosions are just a
sound and light show, the bombs contain just a minor,
tickling, skin irritant. The whole war is a sham for
television, as the leaders of both sides realised early on
that to fight each other for real would result in the
destruction of the galaxy.
The
Space Marines win another 'heroic victory' and arrange to meet
the Irlians again in a couple of weeks on Cloris 4. All the
planets in the conflict are uninhabited; the weapons harmless.
Only new recruits fight any battles, as they are unaware that
the war is fake, and so commit to the battle as if their lives
were truly at risk, which allows for a winner and a loser. Joe
explains it all to his recruits as they hold the battle
standard aloft, another planet conquered for the audience back
home.
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