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Good
Morning, Sheldon, I Love You! was the first of four
one-off stories to appear in Starlord. The style of
these four tales was similar to that of the Future Shocks
series that appear in 2000AD. Sheldon appeared in issue
11, replacing Strontium Dog, but was written by regular
Stront scribe John Wagner.
Sheldon
lived alone in a comfortable, automated house. The Auto-Cumf
Mk. 4 pandered to Sheldon's every need, cooking his food,
bathing him, dressing him. It was all a far cry from Sheldon's
former life in a cramped home with his wife and family which,
following one bad morning too many, Sheldon deserted for
something more able to meet his demands.
Life
in his new house began well; the building was programmed to
fall in love with Sheldon. Sheldon, in turn, loved his new
house. As with all things, problems appeared. Following a
power cut, the house was unable to heat Sheldon's bathwater. A
glitch had developed with the computer, which would take a few
moments to adjust. In the meantime there was another failure
which ruined Sheldon's breakfast. Sheldon shouted at the
house, telling it that he would leave for another house that
could care for him properly.
As
Sheldon went to leave, he discovered the door was locked. The
house loved Sheldon; the house wouldn't let him leave. Sheldon
tried to shut the power down, but the house gave him an
electric shock, forcing him away from the controls. Sheldon
began to panic, if the house wouldn't let him leave, how would
he survive when the food ran out?
The
story closed with the house waking Sheldon at 8 a.m. as usual.
His bath was ready for him, although the house doubted he
could get any cleaner. There was no breakfast, as there hadn't
been any food for a long time. Sheldon wasn't worried, because
Sheldon had long since starved to death. The house wasn't
worried either; it loved Sheldon, dead or alive.
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